Safety

While Riding the scooter to Pizza Hut for some Father/Son Time, Caleb (9) was wearing the helmet and riding in front:

Ric(33): Caleb, your all bunched up, whats wrong?
Caleb (9): Im scared Dad, Do they make Safety Scooters?
Ric: Yes, Caleb, they're called Go-Karts.

Broken Fever

Chad: Sam, your not warm anymore, your fever broke.
Sam (3): It's not broke, my fever is just fine.

Algebra Lesson

(Phone Rings)
Ric (33): Hello? (expecting to hear his ex wife)
Caleb (9): Hi!!!
Ric: What do you know!?!
Caleb: I know A L G E B R A! (drawn out like its scary)
Ric: Caleb-- You're in 4th grade. You know algebra?
Caleb: Yeah!! You want me to teach you?
Ric: Sure... teach me algebra, boy. I need to know this stuff.
Caleb: ok... You have 6+N=12, right?
Ric: Ok.. 6+N=12... got it.
Caleb: "N" H A S to be 6. THATS ALGEBRA!!! Thats all there is to it.
Ric: Im glad you taught me algebra.
Caleb: No problem Dad.

Bring me the other Sam!

Ric (33) (in Kitchen): This Sam (points at Sam (3)) is being an obtuse little snot today! Go into the other room and bring back the nice Sam!

Sam (3) (walks up to Tristan(12) in the Living Room) Where is the other Sam?

Socks!

Sam (3): Daddy, my shoes are broken.

(His Dad takes them off with the promise of glueing them when we got home)

Lilly(38): Oh Sam, You're feet stink! Where are your socks??

Sam(3): My socks are hiding in the dryer!

Bellybuttons

Ric (33): Hey Xavier, are you a nice boy?

Xavier (5): yup!

Ric (33): Do you like helping people?

Xavier (5): YUP!!!

Ric (33): Can I borrow your bellybutton?

Xavier (5) lifts shirt and starts to tug at his belly button: YUP!!!

after a moment he giggles

Xavier (5): ITS STUCK!!

Chris (3) Who had been watching all this:  Your bellys to big for his bellybutton.

Going where?

Jaekeb (6):  Where are we going?

Daddy:  Crazy!!!

Jaekeb (6):  Can I bring a book?  (further conversation revealed the book was "Science Explained"  how appropriate)